When Private Life Interferes with Work
In my 25 years of professional life, I’ve learned that maintaining a clear boundary between personal and work life is pure theory and never really worked. Sometimes it was for happy reasons, such as the birth of a child, as you might be a little less performing as long as the baby doesn’t sleep at night. But in other cases, it was for less joyous reasons, about which I couldn’t necessarily communicate at work. I’d like to share some thoughts from my own experience and observations.
When it’s happening to you
As employees, we strive to be efficient, committed, and engaged, even in the face of personal challenges. We try to put up a good face and continue to deliver the best results we can, solve issues, improve things. In an ideal world we would manage to strictly split private and working life, but these issues can’t always be neatly compartimentalized. In real life we know it’s impossible. If someone from my close family is sick, if I have some serious health problems myself, if I’m facing a bereavement, or going through divorce, it’s almost impossible not to have some interference with work. It can be because of practical matters (such as a doctor’s appointment), but also because of my own mental health in the face of those problems I’m facing privately.
So, what can you, as an employee, do when your private life collides with work? The first challenge lies in deciding what to communicate. In some cases you have to share some level of information, as it might be linked to legal aspects (such as being on sick leave), but in general the law defines what you have to tell your employer (being sick) or not (what the health problem is). On the other hand, there are undoubtedly other aspects of personal life that are best kept private, even from the understanding ears of HR or a trusted manager. In such cases, consider seeking support from your company on managing work-life balance without divulging specific details. This could involve exploring options like business coaching to navigate these challenges discreetly. If, unfortunately, you are in a working environment that you don’t trust, it’s even more important to try and get external professional support elsewhere. You shouldn’t be facing such burden alone and talking to a someone like a psychologist can be a huge help.
If you’re the employer
If you find yourself in the position of a manager or HR professional, handling such delicate situations requires a thoughtful approach. When an employee confides in you about personal challenges, the first step is to express empathy and assure confidentiality. Breaching this trust could have severe consequences, eroding the employee’s faith in the workplace.
Next, openly discuss how the company can offer support. This might involve temporary adjustments in workload or working hours to accommodate the employee’s needs. In more complex situations, modifying the employment contract, perhaps through part-time arrangements, could be considered. Regardless of the solution, maintaining openness and flexibility is key. Additionally, providing confidential access to coaching or counseling resources can significantly impact an employee’s well-being.
The support offered during challenging times leaves a lasting impression on an employee’s motivation and commitment. Once the storm has passed, those who received thoughtful assistance are likely to return to work with heightened engagement. It’s crucial to recognize that your actions are being observed not only by the directly affected employee but also by their colleagues. The way you handle such situations sets the tone for the workplace culture, influencing how others perceive the organization’s commitment to employee well-being.
While much of this might seem like common sense, what goes without saying is worth being said nonetheless! From my personal experience and from observing what was happening to colleagues, I’ve seen a lot of understanding and support from companies. Unfortunately, but more rarely, I’ve also seen the opposite. By acknowledging the inevitable intersection of private and professional life, employers can foster a workplace that values empathy, flexibility, and understanding, ultimately leading to a more resilient and harmonious work-life balance.
